


Get-Together

by Fallen_Ark_Angel



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 12:59:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6375739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallen_Ark_Angel/pseuds/Fallen_Ark_Angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because if one of them was a cannibal, it would totally be Freed. Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Get-Together

  


"Do you think you could kill someone?"

Lisanna hardly glanced at Bickslow, continuing to flip through a magazine carelessly. "What's the situation?"

"That's not the question."

"Is my life in danger?"

"Not the question."

"Hmmm." Page flip. "Maybe."

The seith, who was at the moment enjoying a cigarette, blew it through his nostrils. Then, "I could. In a heart beat."

"If these are the sorts of conversations you have in mixed company," Freed complained as he came into the room, carrying a plate of appetizers, consisting of crackers and dips, as well as an assortment of cut up meats and cheeses, "then I would hate to hear what you speak about when you're al- Get your disgusting feet off the table, Bickslow!"

The man, who was slumped over on the couch, smoking, only grunted though, slowly, he did drop both of his feet down.

Freed was so temperamental.

"What's the most gruesome way you could...you know?" Bickslow glanced at his seemingly disinterested girlfriend, who was next to him on the couch. "Lissy?"

"Mmmm…. I think I could, maybe, shoot someone in the head. If I had to."

"I could totally scalp a person."

"Could not."

"Bet me."

"Fine. Bet."

"Please," Freed complained as he headed back out of the room to retrieve the drinks, "do not plan murders in my apartment."

"Whatever you say, man," his teammate agreed though, once he was gone, he said to Lisanna, "I could probably watch someone drown too and do nothing."

"That's mentally messed up," she sighed, turning a page. "Not gruesome."

"Feels like it would be a bit gruesome."

"But it's not, so-"

"And shooting someone in the head is?"

"I feel like it is. If someone shot me in the temple," she argued, "I'd feel that was a bit hardcore. Wouldn't you?"

"Meh."

"Meh?"

He nodded. "Typically instant death. Not gruesome. Now drowning someone-"

"I thought," Freed complained as he came back with an arm full of beer cans, which he went to set on the coffee table, "I said to stop talking about murdering people?"

Bickslow blew some smoke his way. "We were just- Hey! Boss!"

He was distracted then, of course, by the front door opening and Laxus Dreyar walking in, coat flowing off his shoulders, headphones strapped on.

"Boss," the seith's babies enthusiastically sang as they came to circle around the man. He was busy batting at them when Lisanna spoke.

"Laxus," she began, not glancing up from her magazine. "Could you kill someone?"

"Absolutely."

"L-Laxus," Freed complained. "Do not encourage-"

"Oy, boss," the seith challenged then. "What's the more gruesome? Shooting someone in the noggin or drownin' them?"

"Shooting."

"But you don't get the drownin' angle! I ain't just gonna be holdin' their head under the water," the seith complained. "I'd have them in a big container filled with water and have them locked in there and just stare at 'em, right? From the other side of the container? It'll be glass and they'll be drownin' and I'll be-"

"That's mentally fucked up. Not gruesome."

Lisanna, still into her magazine, held up a hand as the slayer passed, him high-fiving it without a second thought.

"My demon here?" Laxus complained, snagging a beer as well before going to peak into the kitchen. "Freed?"

"No," the man sighed as he jut as quickly was rushing back in there to get a bottle of wine and a few glasses ready. "Mirajane has not arrived as of yet."

Grunt. Then, popping the tab on his beer, he said, "Then I got here too early."

Bickslow went back to smoking then, defeated and, feeling some of his pain, Lisanna glanced over at him finally.

"What are you smoking?" she asked with a slight frown. "Bicks? It smells funny."

"Tryin' somethin' new," he mumbled around the cigarette.

"It stinks," Laxus argued as he turned then, bypassing the couch to head over to the big, overstuffed chair in the corner. "Only chicks smoke that shit."

"I'm tryin' to turn my life around," Bickslow complained. "Cut down on my illegal substance abuse. And what do I get to fill it? You guys verbal abuse. It ain't right!"

"You do smoke those cigars, Laxus," Lisanna commented, going back to her magazine. "So can you really talk about what stinks and what doesn't?"

"Uh, yes, little girl, I can. So shut up."

"I'mma tell Mira you said that to me," she tsked. "You jerk."

Heh.

The slayer only settled into the chair before going back to his music. Until Mirajane showed up, the little get-together was a waste. And, even after she did, it really just depended on if they meshed well or not. Which mostly was reliant on if he got laid at the end of the evening. So, really, it would be a long time before he determined the night a success or not.

Lisanna sat up some then, reaching over to grab her and Bickslow both beers from the coffee table before taking to leaning up against the seith's arm while continuing to look over her magazine. Downing his own beer in one chug (he was planning on having quite a few that night), the seith tossed it towards the kitchen, where Freed was, calling out that he should probably pick that up, less he trip.

Then stupid boss had to go and yell at him about being disrespectful to Freed and his apartment and sorts of stuff that he didn't care about. Bleh! And Lissy said that he had to go pick up the beer can and damn, they were not only the source of his verbal abuse, but also the cause of his drug intake. Completely.

There was a knock at the door not a few minutes later, though Evergreen opened it before it was answered.

"Elfman isn't here, is he?" she asked with evident disdain. Where as Laxus clearly wished for his Strauss, she was dreading her own. "Because-"

"Ever, could you kill someone?" Bickslow asked, not really caring to answer her question.

"Yes. Of course. Now where is Elf-"

"What is wrong with you? All of you?" Freed complained from the kitchen. "Honestly."

"What's more gruesome?" Lisanna kept up. "Watching someone drown? Or shooting them in the head?"

"Drowning," she said to which Bickslow cheered. And, when she passed to go get a glass of wine, he held out a fist for her to bump it. The woman only frowned before going back to ignoring him.

"Your loser boyfriend," Laxus started up as Ever poured herself a glass of wine, "had better not be holdin' my demon up. I only came to be with her, after all."

"Oy, boss," Bickslow complained, purposely trying to annoy Ever by blowing smoke her way. "Words hurt."

"Good."

Evergreen only frowned at her teammate once more. "Are those clove or something?"

"Maybe."

"They smell horrible. And only women smoke those."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"You're just bothering me. Stop bothering me, Ever. Gah! This is why I stay home to get drunk. You heathens. You're all-"

"Calm down a bit, Bicks." Lisanna patted his leg. "You have all night to complain."

She had a point.

"Did you want a beer, Laxus?" Ever asked, only going to claim her spot on the loveseat when he shook his head slightly. He reserved beer serving for the demon. It was their thing.

"What are you doing in there, Feed?" Lisanna called eventually. "Come out here. We're having stimulating conversation."

"I can hear the conversations going on, actually, and I think I'm fine in here, preparing dinner." Then, after a pause, he said, "Someone could come in here and help or-"

"Meh." Bickslow blew smoke at Lisanna then, getting him batted at. "Stimulation going on, buddy."

"Hardly," was his response though, when he really thought about it, their help was probably not something he wanted.

Laxus only blocked them all out as Lisanna and Bickslow went back to their mindless conversations and Ever took to pulling a nail file out and tidying up her fingernails a bit. Freed frequented in and out, but it was of little mind to the slayer. He only watched the door anxiously.

At the sound of a loud pounding against it, he sat to attention a bit, watching as Freed rushed to go open it and reveal…

Elfman.

Ugh.

Laxus shut his eyes and zoned back into his music.

"I knew it," Elfman complained as he came in, bypassing Freed as he glared over at his girlfriend. She only took a gulp from her wineglass with a frown. "You said that they canceled the party, but I knew-"

"I did not say that." Ever gave him a look. "I just said you weren't invited. Difference."

"You-"

"Could you kill someone?" Bickslow asked him.

"Elf?" Lisanna echoed.

"Real men can do anything!"

"Including murder?" his baby sister prompted.

"Of course!"

"I have to find more friends," Freed complained, shutting the door behind the muscular man. "Immediately."

"Riddle me this then," Bickslow continued on, ignoring his teammate. "What's more gruesome? Huh? Shooting someone in the face like a punk? Or watching them slowly drown?"

Elfman didn't even think about it as he passed, headed down the hall to the bathroom, apparently. "Shooting."

"Ha!" Lisanna held up her hand for a high-five which her brother obliged. "Two to one, Bickslow."

"Yeah, whatever," he grumbled, going right back to smoking.

Elfman and Ever got in a few more jabs when he returned from the bathroom, over her apparent attempt to foil him coming as well as the fact that he (in her opinion) was eating far too many of the appetizers and wasn't sharing well and why did she always have to be on his ass anyways, which led to an unwell received joke from Bickslow as well as giggle from Lisanna, only to be broken up, once more, by a knock at the door. Elfman was already heading back to the bathroom though, as, honestly, it was his only safe haven from the madness that was his, apparent, group of friends. Heh.

Finally. Laxus tried hard not to show how relieved he was as Freed, once more, came to open the door for his woman.

"You brought something," Freed remarked in shock at the covered dish in the eldest Strauss' arms. "What is it?"

"Just a casserole," she giggled as she handed it off to him. "I thought that-"

"Demon," Laxus announced loudly, making her glance his way. "What took you?"

"I had to finish work, silly," she giggled as she slipped off her coat. "That's all."

"Sis," Lisanna prompted, glancing her way. "Could you kill someone?"

"Oh, dear," she began as Freed headed out of the room, feeling relieved by the start of her sentence. Then she had to finish it. "Yes. Of course."

"What?" He almost dropped the casserole. "Mirajane-"

"Hmmm?"

"You too?" The letter mage shook his head. "Honestly. This is just-"

"If someone I loved was in danger," she said as she went over to the table to pick at the crackers and cheese that Elfman had somehow managed to not gobble down, "and the situation couldn't be resolved with a good finger wagging-"

"That's why you're my demon," Laxus remarked.

"-and," Mirajane went on, "deadly force had to be used, then I would use it. What other choice would I have?"

"No one said anything about a loved one being in danger," Freed argued. "At all."

"But no one said anything about it not being involved either," the barmaid told him simply before popping a cracker in her mouth.

While Freed was considering this, Bickslow and Lisanna got right back to business.

Blowing smoke at the woman, which about got him strangled by his idol, the seith asked, "What's more gruesome? Watching someone lose their life by drowning slowly as you watch over them or-"

"Or," his girlfriend took over, staring at her sister with their matching deep blues. "Is it more gruesome to hold a gun to someone's head and shoot it, right between the eyes, and the last thing they see before the bullet, like, pierces the brain your face?"

Mira popped in another cracker before saying, "Drowning. Totally."

"What?" Lisanna exclaimed. "Sis-"

"Ha!" He held out a fist and, that time, it was honored as Mirajane bumped her fist against it with a giggle. "We are now completely...tied." Then he sat back in defeat, blowing smoke once more. "Damn it."

Mirajane, not completely sure what they were talking about, just as quickly was turning to head over to Laxus. The man held up a hand though.

"You're forgetting something," he said as she crossed the room, forcing her to stop.

"What?" The barmaid frowned, if only for a moment, before glancing at where he was nodding. The table. "You want… Oh. A beer."

"Mmmhmm." He even grinned, just a bit. "It's our thing."

Yeah. Their 'thing'. Ugh. As if Mirajane didn't get tired of bringing people beers. Still, she did it with a smile before there was no point in doing it any other way. Going to perch herself on his lap, Mirajane gave him a kiss as well as the beer, the dragon responding well to both. He'd been training for the past two days and she'd had work. To finally have some time together was nice.

Even if it was in front of all the others…

"How was work?" Laxus asked as she settled into his hold.

"Mmmm," Mira hummed, "not bad. I guess."

"That's good."

"Not bad," Lisanna corrected from the couch. "She didn't say good. Dummy."

Glaring over at where the youngest Strauss was seated, Laxus said simply, "Just for that, I retract my statement. I think that drowning is way-"

"You can't do that!"

"Yes, he can!" Bickslow fist pumped. "Ha! Boss! You're the best!"

"It is one of the titles I go by, sure," he agreed as Mirajane only frowned at him. "What? I do."

"For what it's worth," Ever spoke up, still messing with her nails. "If we get to change answers, I'm on Lisanna's side."

"Really?" the young woman asked. "You mean-"

"Don't get too excited." She did glance up then, just to glare over at the youngest Strauss. "It's just because it's the opposite of Bickslow. So-"

"Arg! You can't do that!" The seith took to rubbing at his eyes with one of his hands, visor setting down on the table next to the appetizers. "You monster!"

"Laxus just did the exact same-"

"Yeah, _Ever_ , but he's boss and he can do whatever the hell he wants!"

Laxus sat up taller. "Again, he is correct, so-"

That time, Mirajane spoke as well. "Within reason."

"Well, that was implied," Bickslow assured her. "Boss can do whatever Mrs. Boss says, sure but-"

That got a growl from the dragon and a giggle from the demon, but it was Elfman that spoke up, as he came from the bathroom finally.

"It's a stupid question anyways," the man said as, cautiously, he came to take his place next to Evergreen on the loveseat, both scooting away from the center, as to be as far away from one another as possible. "With stupid answers. A real man would strangle another man with his bare hands!"

"Yeah, sure, whatever, dude." Bickslow was glancing around then. "Where did Freed get off to?"

"Kitchen, I think," Lisanna told him. "To put Mira's casserole-"

"Freed!" the seith called out, his babies taking suit. "Dude, which is more gruesome? To watch someone-"

"I am not playing."

"Come on."

"No."

"If you play we'll find a different topic," Lisanna sang. "Just be a tie-breaker."

"Freed, are you in there cooking?" Mira was far more concerned with that. "Alone? Why are you guys- Laxus."

"Nope," he said as she tried to escape his grasp. "You're staying put."

"You-"

"I mean it."

"Please, Freed?" Lisanna continued, though by that point she was busy fllipping through that magazine once more. "It would mean a lot to us. You want this to be a good party, right?"

"Some party," Elfman complained.

"It was before you showed up," Ever volleyed.

"You-"

"If it will stop the two of them from starting up again," the letter mage sighed as, once more, he stepped out of the kitchen, "I suppose I can offer my opinion."

"Oh, great." Bickslow snickered. "Go ahead, buddy. Crush Lissy's dreams. Bros before...other...bros...hoes...err-"

"Quite honestly," the green haired man went on, glaring at the couch Lisanna and Bickslow were seated on. They were the only two paying him any attention as Ever and Elfman were trying very hard not to look at one another while making it very clear to the other that they purposely weren't looking at them and Mirajane and Laxus were doing that weird thing where she nuzzle up to him and he'd just let her, as he sipped on his beer, content in one another and it was just so disgusting that, ugh, no one wanted to see that.

At all.

Except them.

And even then, not if it was another couple.

"I don't think that either are quite that gruesome," Freed finished.

"But that's not-" Lisanna tried, though he only spoke right over her.

"Gruesome," he told them, "would be something far more sadistic than something simple like those two things. Such as dismemberment or cannibalism or dismemberment and cannibalism, with a live victim-"

"Okay, Freed," Laxus finally complained as Mirajane shifted uncomfortably in his lap, glancing the letter mage's way. "We get it. They're idiots. Don't be gross."

"How is that gross? I am merely participating in the conversation-"

"You're such a freak, Freed," Ever sighed. "Honestly."

"How am I-"

"Yeah, dude, too far." Bickslow blew some smoke his way. "Creep."

"You were all just talking about how you could kill someone!"

"But not eat them," Lisanna said, shifting closer to Bickslow. "What exactly did you make us for dinner? Huh? Another human body?"

"No! Of course not. I never said I was the anthropophagite!"

"Maybe not," Elfman agreed. "But I'm nearly certain I heard you say you were a cannibal."

"They're the same thing!"

"Ha!" Bickslow held up a finger. "You admit it."

"This...this is what I get then? For planning this party for you all?"

"No," Lisanna said slowly. "This is what you get for eating human flesh and trying to feed it to us."

"You are being- Mirajane. You have to tell them how foolish they're all being."

She only gave him a slight shrug. "You did kinda grin when you talked about dismemberment and cannibal-"

"I did not even want to talk about any of this! You all-"

"Of course not," Lisanna agreed. "What cannibal wants to talk about being a cannibal? And hey, you know, Lucy and Natsu sure have been gone on their job for a long time."

"Did you eat 'em, Freed? Hmmm?" Bickslow tsked. "Happy too? They were Lissy's best friends! Now I'm gonna have to spend even more time with her and that's just going to be...well… No, yeah, they were probably the best people in the hall to eat. Good going, man."

"I didn't eat them! I-"

"Alright, alright," Laxus complained as Mirajane, slowly, snuggled back into him. "You guys had your fun. Let Freed go back to cooking. And quickly."

"Awe." Mirajane patted his tummy. "Are you hungry, dragon?"

"Famished."

"Do we have to?" Lisanna complained. "We were just working up to a joke about Ever being a man-eater too."

"Were we?" Bickslow asked.

"Well, I was. I figured you'd jump in."

"Oh, no, I'dda called her a manwhore. But any who-"

"Look, you little punk," his female teammate started as Laxus only growled and turned his headset up, as to block out the rest. Mirajane though just stared in shock, finished with the teasing of Freed as another crisis took precedence; namely, how to get Bickslow out of that one alive. "You had better-"

"Real men would speak to a woman's boyfriend!" Elfman challeneged, getting to his feet. Lisanna blinked at this, surprised, but Bickslow only snickered.

"Is he your man now, Ever?" he taunted. "Huh? Elfman is Ever's man?"

"Shut up! And Elfman, you shut up too!"

"Me?" He growled then, but it had nothing on Laxus. Absolutely nothing. "I'm defending your honor!"

"I have none for you to defend!"

"Hear that, Bicks?" Lisanna snickered. "Ever has no honor."

"And no taste in men," he agreed which, of course, got Elfman and Ever to yell at him some more, which, really, was well enough for Freed. As always, it seemed that they were all better arguing.

Or picking on him. He was, after all, the odd man out.

He'd probably been in the kitchen for a good, on, minute and a half when Laxus had enough and unleashed on them all. Except the demon. About how stupid and childish and annoying they were. And if they didn't shut the hell up, right then, he was ending the party and making them all go home without dinner.

Which was very odd, considering there was no way that the man could possibly impose a food ban on them, but then again, why push it? Huh?

"And damn it, Bickslow, if you don't put that damn cigarette or whatever the hell it is out, I'll shove it up your- No, Mira. I will. I'm serious."

"Just shhh," the woman said, gently rubbing his arm. "And relax a bit. Everyone. Please."

Which, of course, put a big damper on dinner. Freed didn't have a formal dining area, leaving them all to eat in the living room, plates in their laps. Well, Mirajane and Laxus actually shared a plate, but that wasn't very special. They did that in most situations. It gave Mirajane a chance to eat more than she would admit to, after all.

For a long time, they ate in silence. Even Bickslow's babies found it best to just float around quietly, not even making their nonsensical noises. Freed had joined their master on the couch, the seith sitting between his best friend and girlfriend, mostly, honestly, craving a smoke.

It was while Ever and Elfman were purposely not trying to touch as they ate that Lisanna, who was picking at her food for the most part, tentatively spoke.

"I," she said slowly, "for one love your dinner, Freed."

Softly, he said, "Thank you."

"It has just a hint of...Dragon Slayer with, what is that? An Exceed?"

Bickslow didn't even have to glance at her to take her lead. "I taste a blonde chick, but that's just me."

"Well, I definitely detect a bit of wings in here-"

"Nope. That's some celestial wizardry right here."

For a good twenty seconds it was silent, Mirajane glancing up at Laxus who was staring as blankly at them as ever while Freed held his breath and Elfman braced for whatever came next.

Only no one could prepare for it.

Ever, in her attempt to stifle what they assumed would have been a laugh, tried to take a sip from her wineglass, though that didn't work as she ended up snorting it up and through her nose and there it was. Everyone was laughing then, except her, but that wasn't too unusual, and Laxus was more of just staring, but not with as aggressive of a glare.

"It's not funny," Ever hissed, getting up to storm off to the bathroom. "You jerks."

And just like that, Elfman stopped laughing, realizing just what the indiscretion would mean for him. Sure, it'd broke the ice for everyone else, but him? Oh, he'd be hearing about how it was somehow his fault for, at least, the rest of the night. If not the next day as well.

Lisanna and Bickslow though couldn't stop laughing. Mira had, but was grinning and Freed was just watching them at that point, but it was all good.

"I bet Natsu would taste like fire," Lisanna remarked then to which Bickslow nodded.

"Just like boss would taste like electricity."

"What does electricity taste like?" Mira asked slowly.

"I don't know," he said before, with a devilish grin, asking, "Why don't you tell us?"

"Why would I-"

"Never mind, Mira," Laxus groaned. "Just let it go."

"But- Oh. Ew. Bickslow!" Mira complained when she, finally, understand

Lisanna almost dropped her plate from laughter. Freed, who'd just gotten his carpets cleaned, was rather glad she didn't.

"I would question why now cannibalism is funny," the letter mage complained, going back to his dinner. "But I'm sure I won't like the response."

"It was always funny," Bickslow told him.

"Yeah," Lisanna agreed, nodding her head. "Always."

"Of course it is," the other man sighed, with a shake of his head. "Of course."

"I have never...tasted Laxus," Mirajane complained, apparently still hung up on that. "Like bitten a piece of his flesh or-"

"You've gotten as close to it as you possibly can, I'm sure," they heard then from the hall as Ever returned, apparently pissed at all of them.

"What was that?" Laxus growled as she headed back over to the loveseat. "Ever?"

Not all of them, apparently. "I was just…well..."

"Apologizing to my demon?" he prompted to which she only bowed her head and mumbled something of the likes out.

And Lisanna, thoroughly proud of herself for saving the party, as always, sat back with a grin while Bickslow, who was equally convinced that he'd done the same thing, pulled a cigarette to light up as celebration. Elfman was softly comforting Ever about then, about how it was totally everyone's fault, but her own, that she'd snorted wine out of her nose, which pretty much meant he was the savior of them all.

All being turned to stone, that is.

Then there was Mirajane, who had managed before to keep Laxus from slaughtering them all and, well, was there more a savior of a party than the person that kept the other party-goers from being murdered?

Was there?

Laxus was sitting there too, ever the leader of them all, even the Strausses, whether they chose to subscribe to this philosophy or not, knowing that it was truly him that brought them all together and, therefore, was the only one that mattered, much less had the ability to make things better.

It wasn't until the end of the night though, as they all sat around, drinking themselves into losing their inhibitions that would probably lead to Laxus trying to hookup with Mirajane in all of the following places, yet not limited to, the bathroom, the guest bedroom, Freed's bedroom, and the kitchen and Mirajane chewing him out about it every single time (before just settling for the guest bedroom, probably, where they'd more than likely make out heavily for a bit before blacking out) and Bickslow and Lisanna to falling asleep in the most random of places (after one party, Bickslow woke up in the shower stall, fully clothed, with no recollection of why he'd gone in there to begin with), while Ever would demand to leave, oh, once an hour on the hour and Elfman, far drunker than them all (being with Ever, he deserved it), to yelling about men and being loud and just, ugh.

Why did Freed keep agreeing to babysit- err, hosting their get-togethers? Why?

It was then though, with them all relaxed and drinking, that Freed remembered that it was him who was truly the one that kept the party together. Or all of them together. As a group, at least, as they seemed to work in their couples pretty well, but not all as one. He might not be integral to everything they did and, at times even, felt rather left out, but he was a good middleman for them.

"If one of us was a canna...cann… If one of us ate people," Lisanna announced to them all at one point, mostly Bickslow, as no one else was listening, just more of drinking and ignoring. "It'd totally be Freed. Right? Guys?"

Mirajane was in that funny phase of drunk that she only got at parties like that and was so giggly and all over Laxus that no one, but him seemed to understand what she said. But Bickslow nodded his head.

"Totally," he agreed. "Freed the Dark. What's darker than that?"

"Actually," Freed began, about to list off just what was darker than that, but stopped, suddenly, realizing it would only be used against him. For the night he was having, being accused of eating another human was, actually, probably the best he was going to get. "Yes. Completely. It would be me."

Evergreen, who was stretched out on the loveseat, head in Elfman's lap and legs hanging over the edge, hardly peeked open her eyes. "Called it."

Laxus' voice was muffled as it was pressed against Mirajane's neck, from what the others could make out, he only said, "Knock it off," or something of the sort. But then Mirajane was giggling again and wow; it was about time for him to proposition her to sneak off and screwing.

Elfman just growled though. "Real men don't eat other men!"

"But if you ate another man," Bickslow offered up, more sober than the others, only through the sheer fact that he typically drank far more often, "then wouldn't you assume his powers? Or something?"

"In what world?" Lisanna asked.

"I don't know. Maybe this one. But no one ever knows because we refuse to eat one another."

"He says things like that," Freed griped, if only halfway, "yet I am the one that's called a cannibal."

"That's such a cannibal thing to say, Freed," Lisanna complained. Her boyfriend just nodded.

"Completely."

And oh, one day, they wouldn't have those free nights, where they just sat around and did nothing together. One day, even, Freed would find other friends. Ones that didn't vomit all over his bathroom from drinking too much in the middle of the night, or attempt to hookup in random parts of his house, and definitely ones that didn't spill wine on his nicely cleaned carpet.

But...just not that day.

Or one any time soon.

 


End file.
